It is never simple or easy to make a healthy midlife crisis transition. However, it is possible to embark on the second half of your life’s adventure with new peace, meaning and purpose.
The midlife crisis is a phase of life that we all go through, some feel it more, and others feel it less, but the fact is that when the midlife crisis arrives, it compromises our balance.
Common feelings before midlife crisis transition.
When people face midlife crises, they might feel overwhelmed; everything is in turmoil from a physical, psychological, and spiritual perspective. Understanding how you think will help you get through the midlife crisis transition successfully.
Identify which stage of the transition you are in to help you stop your emotions driving you and not lose control of your life.
How that feeling explodes in your life depends on several factors, including your partner, family, also your strength of character.
Midlife crisis transition has a price. Here some of them:
Have you ever woken up and looked around and felt dissatisfied with everything and everyone?
During the midlife crisis, you may experience general dissatisfaction. Suddenly, your marriage is no longer satisfying you, your friends are not interesting, your job is not to your liking, and the list can be very long.
Usually, people try to solve this, for example, by getting divorced, but they are still dissatisfied and think it is their work, friends, or family etc.
When trying to find an answer to their dissatisfaction, they risk ruining their existence. In this phase, it is widespread to take refuge in counterproductive behaviours such as addictions, compulsive shopping and parties, and eating disorders.
You might look for answers.
During the midlife crisis, we question everything around us because we are not satisfied.
We wonder why we are doing work that we hate and why we allow ourselves to be treated in a certain way by friends, husbands, children. Perhaps we treat others bad and feel guilty.
This phase can be very positive, as we have the opportunity to delve into these issues and learn to set limits and finally take control of our lives.
Your life doesn’t seem to belong to you anymore.
You may start to understand that the things around you are not exactly what you dreamed. Even when, in reality, they reflect everything you desired and built with so many sacrifices.
You don’t even like yourself; it may be the way you behave like others, your excessive worry about the future or the anxiety that consumes you. Whatever it is that you don’t like, you start to wonder who you really are and, above all, who you want to be going forward.
Now is a time of liberation from all excesses (alcohol, shopping, drugs) and those troubles that do not make you express the most beautiful thing about yourself that has taken over your life and kept you in shadow.
Start taking the first steps to get out of midlife crisis to transition. You will find yourself a different woman, stronger, more confident, with clear ideas of who you are and what you want to achieve.
How to overcome the midlife crisis.
Here are some tips on how to go through the midlife crisis transition and give your life a new meaning.
I) Face your problems.
Determine if the problem is a midlife crisis or if it is a problem that is stressful for you; before you start treating the questions, you have as if they were the product of a midlife crisis. Check to see if this is what you are facing.
You can get to a point in your life where problems surround you. You may feel stuck in your marriage, looking forward to a different job and a new start somewhere else. Even if you hear these things, you don’t have to do them right away; it takes time to think and find out if this is what you really want.
II) Start getting rid of everything you don’t need anymore.
Start with the things you have accumulated at home. This way, you will have more time to dedicate yourself instead of taking care and cleaning up unnecessary things.
Then think of those people who come to you but always disappoint you; in middle age, you will realize that many people have nothing more to do with you, so why do you go to them? You deserve to spend more time with people who help you grow, support you and make you happy.
III) Control your stress.
Spend time alone; learn to practice mindfulness. Don’t let your mind wander with negative thoughts, watch over your thoughts, replace negative thoughts with positive ones (you can think of a new project). Find space for you to do things your way. Take a walk, spend some time in nature or meditate.
Simple actions that work to prevent and manage stress: doing physical activity, sleeping well, following a balanced diet, cutting down on alcohol, tobacco and coffee, managing your time better, watching a comedy program or film.
Furthermore, it is fundamental to recognize your emotions; it is normal to feel angry or upset. Feelings are natural reactions to stressful circumstance.
IV) Don’t make hasty decisions.
Make sure you don’t make impulsive decisions, as it can be fun, but it can get out of your control. Before making any decisions, gather information and examine your possibilities.
You can choose more than one option. For example, if you are dissatisfied with your job, consider changing jobs, working at another branch or how you could do your job using new technologies.
Consider your options carefully before proceeding. It is not necessary to make a drastic decision for this happiness.
Try to be positive. Be sure to use positive self-talk to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Make sure you don’t compare yourself to other people. If you’re doing this, take a break from social media to avoid seeing what others are doing.
V) Appreciate the life you have.
Accept that you are an adult and have responsibilities. Instead of feeling uncomfortable about taking responsibility, look for something in your life for which you are grateful.
For example, if you envy your friend because she is single and has a carefree lifestyle, remember that you chose to have a family and are very lucky to have people you can count on for their support. Remember that some people need to pray for things that you can see as a burden.
VI) Look for new goals to accomplish.
Research has shown that middle-aged people have a hard time setting new goals. They prefer to maintain the status achieved.
“When the future time perspective is perceived as limited, as is the case in middle adulthood, it is more likely that people adopt maintenance goals instead of starting afresh with goals aimed at new achievements”.
You may have big aspirations and goals that may not be realistic. Although you need to give up your dreams in some areas, create goals in others. You may not realize your childhood dream of being a ballerina, but you can fulfil other dreams.
It is time to set news goals related to the economy, family, love, profession and health. For example, try to learn something you enjoy or adopt a healthier lifestyle.
VII) Avoid addictions (alcohol, drugs, medication abuse).
Using alcohol at this stage can seem fun or exciting. However, when the effect wears off, you will feel the same emptiness as before.
Depression and anxiety, present during middle age, can be the trigger to start drinking too much alcohol in an attempt to deal with your negative feelings and emotions.
Furthermore, alcohol and some drugs are directly related to financial difficulties, health problems and increased stress.
But changing in middle age is it possible?
In middle age, it becomes more challenging to think about new projects and new goals. If you think it is too late for long-term projects, it is no longer worth investing in yourself or making significant changes. Know that there is a widespread belief that the time available is concise, there isn’t enough energy, so there is nothing to be done but to resign.
Change is the vital energy that drives us to life; it should never go out. A kind of prejudice, especially against women who reach middle age, compromises that impulse to have new projects, be active and never renounce their dreams. But renunciation leads to existence in premature death, a death of the spirit that anticipates that of the body.
On the other hand, resignation, over time, brings a feeling of perpetual dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction over the years can turn into frustration and the adoption of compensatory behaviours; eating poorly, drinking, not taking care of yourself.
The search for an answer through artificial solutions does not produce any positive result. We can find the solution only by knowing ourselves and discovering new values to realign one’s own life.
Karger, Midlife Crisis: A Debate, by Freund A.M. · Ritter J.O. acceded 13/03/2021, available at https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/227322
Psychology Today, What a Female Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like, by Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. acceded 10/03/2021 available at https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/wander-woman/201105/what-female-mid-life-crisis-looks
Psychcental, The Mid-Life Crisis: An Opportunity in Disguise? On Psychcentre, by By Ben Martin, Psy.D. acceded at 05/03/2021 available at https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-mid-life-crisis-an-opportunity-in-disguise/?all=1