Today we are witnessing a veritable divorce boom among women during the midlife crisis. They are married for a lifetime but decided to get rid of an unhappy marriage.
Why do women get divorced in middle age? How to start over?
In this article, we will talk a little bit about divorce during a midlife crisis. Which therefore represents the moment of breaking point. Whether it was positive or negative, the broken relationship was important in your life. Read on to learn more.
Why Women Get Divorce in Midlife
The midlife crisis is a challenging time for women. Not everyone has a midlife crisis with the same intensity. However, any change can cause an identity crisis, and this can lead to divorce.
In Britain, the impact of the midlife crisis on marriage inspired efforts to address the personal, familial and social determinants—and consequences—of rising levels of divorce.Mark Jackson
Anyway entering midlife brings many changes such as relationships change; your job may become more demanding, or you may not live up to a person’s expectations. People in midlife may also begin to face death.
Among all these things, women might want to divorce at that age is also a widespread midlife crisis. You may be thinking why are women getting divorced at that age?
There can be many reasons behind this decision, such as infidelity, reluctance to overcome natural life changes like menopause, health problems, empty nest syndrome, retirement and physical or emotional abuse etc.
These natural things that happen in middle age make you rethink your life.
Fears of Midlife Crises Divorce
Most of the people make their way into life in their 40s and 50s. Some flee for their lives for fear that they will never be in a better place. This might occurs during a midlife crisis. You might feel angry and blame others directly to understand your unhappiness and frustration with life.
While these fears are similar to those that arise in other life stages, they have different meanings for middle-aged women. The future looks more terrifying, and you find it difficult to move on.
The Main Fears of Women Midlife Crises Divorce are:
Fear of failure
Dread of failure presents itself as a massive one. Failure lets you believe you have to overcome it. In an effort to do this, it consumes most of the energy required to normalize it.
Failure is not a tragedy, yet it is an event that results from a series of steps. These steps should be reviewed and modified for an alternative outcome. It is strongly recommended to get outside help to compensate for the possibility of the same mistakes. This change in mindset will be a way to normalize the fear of failure.
Fear of Loss
In your middle life, you made choices and decisions that led to your current experiences. Making a significant change means giving up what you know, no matter how miserable you are, for the sake of the unknown.
You always think of what if you lose something or someone by just clarifying your reaction and then incorporating those responses into your mind. By doing all this, you will have a plan of action in case the worst-case scenario arises.
Fear of Rejection
This fear is like a loss. Rejection is not something that women do well. We hesitate to try everything, especially if the chances of success are not high. This fear is associated with other anxiety: ejection. We fear that we will be expelled from some of the groups we belong to because we have lost the status that we had.
Continuing to what we are currently doing seems more secure. What if I adopted the mindset: if I refused or got fired to achieve my dream, then those who don’t deserve me now?
How to Start Over After Divorce?
According to the literature, the factors that contribute to successfully overcoming divorce include:
- Personality traits, such as being open or outgoing.
- Engage in activities that foster personal growth.
- Getting away from a feeling of vulnerability or resignation.
- And finally, have resilient capabilities.
What’s Else Can Help?
Another critical factor that can help people recover from the effects of divorce has self-compassion.
Self-compassion can, in fact, foster a better ability to cope with stressful life events. The dissolution of a marriage is obviously not a trivial event: it is a crucial stress factor, regardless of the age and duration of the marriage.
Learn to forgive yourself so you can look forward with positivity. Divorce can, in fact, lead to a deep feeling of guilt associated with the loss, particularly if the relationship has lasted for many years.
Personal and social interactions are essential as they provide support. Also, offer the opportunity for others to observe the physical and mental changes of the person who has divorced.
What is important to remember is that the choice to change, coming out of a state of unhappiness, cannot occur as a consequence of external conditioning alone, but always depends on the individual involved.
It is certainly not easy to change one’s lifestyle. However, this is full of ups and downs and learning to deal with negative experiences is the key to achieving a healthy outcome.
Mark Jackson (2020), “Life begins at 40: the demographic and cultural roots of the midlife crisis, The Royal Society, 25 March, Available at https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsnr.2020.0008 (Accessed: 01/11/2020).
Suzy Brown, “Surviving Divorce After 50” Midlife Divorce Recovery, Available at https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/surviving-divorce-after-50/ (Accessed 01/11/2020).