Time seems to pass, and do you miss your youth? Don’t panic. The midlife crisis affects millions of women aged 35 to 60. The important thing is to recognize it and deal with it in time.
The meaning of the midlife crisis is associated with a moment in which we realize that we do not have much time ahead, which forces us to face deep and existential questions, linked to the theme of who we are and who we want to be.
What Happens at this Stage?
Psychic and physical decay is experienced negatively, with the nostalgia of youth. There arises the doubt, or certainty, of having made the wrong choices and, therefore, of not having lived the best life possible, which induces that state of existential crisis.
At this stage of life, we look for extreme emotions and dream of a second youth. Sentimental changes and uncontrolled purchases are the first signs of the midlife crisis.
Midlife Crisis or Awakening?
Although this phase of life is extremely stressful and it’s difficult to accept that we are getting older, it is also an opportunity to rediscover ourselves, to give new values to our lives and to chart a new and much more solid path.
«Maturity is a symbol of fullness, of glorious midday, of culmination of the parable of existence and achieved, a happy balance between the memory of the past and the projection into the future […] The fullness, from the sunny to the serene midday of the individual’s life, therefore, is found in the middle, in maturity, while the young person sins for excess and old age by default.”Remo Bodei
Why Midlife Crisis in Women is so Difficulty
In the case of women, this phase almost always coincides with the climacteric or pre-menopausal period, a delicate moment which is not always easy to control. In women, the proximity of menopause causes hot flashes, insomnia, dry skin. Also, women face the idea that they will no longer have children, and their sexual appetite often decreases.
Furthermore, the midlife crisis in women is invisible because it does not manifest itself in our eyes, but in the intimate spaces of the minds and hearts of women. Many of them are totally isolated, struggling with their feelings, without the proper support to complete this transition, this may be due to a midlife crisis or anxiety about growing older.
What can Trigger the Midlife Crisis?
The Signs of the Midlife Crisis in Women
The signs of the midlife crisis are not identical for all women. The most commun are :
We live in a society that has defined itself as ‘narcissistic’ because the physical aspects of appearance and beauty now seem to be the cornerstones of our existence. Physical changes in middle age, such as silver hair, wrinkles, or sagging, do not correspond to the standards established by society, which can cause insecurity in women.
More frequent conflicts with partners
Spouses no longer supporting each other, causes dissatisfaction and creates a barrier that separates them. The relationship ends, collaboration and understanding between spouses disappear.
Relationships, if not cultivated continuously, begin to diminish. And when they do, it’s easy to feel distant and frustrated. You can “endure” this situation for more or less time, but in the end, it will wear out even the most tenacious and, if they do not separate, they will still live a sad and lost life as a couple.
Ruminating on the mistakes of the past
Science comforts us by proving that, once we touch the bottom, we can only go back. After learning to accept your life as it is, in addition to not harming yourself by thinking about the past, you will find the serenity that you thought you had lost forever.
Being overly worried about the future
The world of work changes quickly and is always more competitive; therefore, insecurities increase. We are no longer sure if we will continue to exercise the profession until the moment of retirement. Furthermore, daily expenses are always higher due to the new “needs” of the family. You may find that everything you have planned for the future is not enough for worry-free old age.
Wanting to feel young
Without a doubt, one of the most evident signs of this crisis is the need to be young again. This feeling can lead to the search for new experiences, to do things that were not done before for various reasons. This new attitude can cause a great longing for the youth that blocks us, making us forget that, in fact, there are still many things that can be done.
Lack the commitment into the relationship
Often people say that in middle age, women change their moods, often becoming more irritable, grumpy and selfish, sometimes more sad and lonely and less available to “fix the relationship”. Now they want to have more time for themselves and solve their personal doubts.
Feeling in a “dead end”
Faced with reality and the desire to change some aspects of our lives, but by now we have already made the most important decision of our life, so we feel trapped. It is difficult to break free from conditioning, abandon responsibilities and lose the fear of leaving the comfort zone and resuming a new life. You are at a crossroads; it’s time to make a choice; follow the path of change or resign.
Midlife Crisis & the Results of Mistakes
There is no point in regretting the old days; you have to accept all stages of life to continue or start enjoying the moment, even when you think it is too late. Therefore, there is a risk among others of falling into depression and not getting rid of regret.
The most serious consequence of the midlife crisis is depression. An existential crisis that causes losses, insecurity and fear, and it is not by chance that it manifests itself in this phase of life.
Fernanda Gomes Vasconcelos of the Juguiano Institute sees depression as a moment in life when “the subject in depression in middle age can believe that there is no way out for him. So he desperately tries to get back to what he was. Because he is not sure what led him to this situation, he seeks protection in his past, seeing all the good and happy moments he lived and keeping nostalgic memories. Since we are being bombarded all the time by external influences of which we are unaware, our psyche goes into suffering before we even realize it. All the choices you have made, until then, have always seemed correct and sufficient, but something is out of line. ” (2)
Making hasty decisions during a midlife crisis can have serious consequences, such as economic losses, divorces, etc. When people overcome the crisis and see things with a more critical eye, they realize that some decisions could have been different, but now it’s too late.
Regrets can also be caused by a lack of courage when making a decision. During my experience of working with the elderly, I felt very sorry for them for having missed the last chance to improve their lives and for having “woken up” too late.